Friday's What the Hamster?

No, I haven't been blogging much lately. I'm working my hamster off and I have so many people riding my hamster that I should start selling tickets. Anyway, here's the "what the hamster" stories for this week.

1. "Black Hole" is a racial slur. Proving that our next story is true, is this one from Dallas. A black official complained that the use of the word "black hole" by a county commissioner to describe the county collections office was a racial slur. The county commissioner tried to explain to this genius that a black hole refers to a space anomaly and not black people. However, that wasn't good enough and said black official went on to describe how "devil's food cake" is also racist: "So if it's 'angel food cake,' it's white. If it's 'devil's food cake,' it's black. If you're the 'black sheep of the family,' then you gotta be bad, you know. 'White sheep,' you're okay. You know?" Price said. Price said people should watch their words when it comes to stereotypes. To quote Dr. Evil: "Riiiiiiiiiight."
2. Phil Gramm, "We are a nation of whiners." Amen, Brother Phil, amen. Actually, the former senator and current McCain advisor was referring to American leaders whining about the economy but I have to extend it further to say that we have become a nation of whiners. We bitch about everything, from the price of gas (I'm guilty) to the dumb hamster comments made by the idiot in the story above. We need to get over ourselves and do what our forefathers did: grab ourselves by the bootstraps and carry on.
3. Jessie Jackson Thinks Obama's Hamsters Should be Cut Off. Showing again what's wrong with the black community (yeah, I'm going there), Jesse Jackson was filmed making a comment to Julian Bond about how he'd like to cut Obama's hamsters off 'cause he ain't their kind of black man or something. Listen, if the black community ever wants to progress they need to get over the idea that a successful, educated black man or woman is somehow less black. I've seen them shred Colin Powell and Condi Rice for the same thing. Just because they don't wallow in the victim mentality that Jackson, Sharpton, et al like to push doesn't mean they're in Whitey's pocket. Get over the victimhood and do something for yourselves instead of expecting white politicians like Clinton to help you out.
4. No Fido Stew in China. In an effort not to offend those of us who consider dogs pets and not dishes, officially designated Olympic restaurants in Beijing have taken dog off the menu during the Olympics. Other restaurants have been asked to encourage local patrons not to order their favorite dog meat delight during the Olympics. That's just nasty.
5. Ex-Diplomat Just Practicing Local Customs. In an effort to prevent himself from becoming Bubba's love slave for the next 10 years, a former US diplomat who was convicted of having sex with underage girls in the Congo and Brazil said he was merely following local customs. "In the Congo, women develop quickly, both physically and emotionally, due to the substantial responsibility society places on them from early childhood," Nachman wrote. "In Kinshasa, the vast majority of teenagers are sexually active with men that are substantially older. ... Their main concern is marrying young girls to men with financial stability, a concern dating thousands of years and cutting across cultural lines." See, he was just doing as they do. Yeah, I can see this as a future defense for all pedophiles who get convicted of sex with minors in foreign lands.
6. More Kids Having Kids. Like this is a shocker in a time when we lauded Jamie Lynn Spears for getting knocked up. Anyway, teenage pregnancy has risen 4% after remaining flat for a decade. Dr. Keith Ablow, a psychiatrist and FOX News contributor, said the recent reversal in the trend of declining teen pregnancy is a grave concern. He said young people, especially girls, are looking for ways to connect with themselves and others in an “increasingly technology-driven world.” One way to do that is to have a baby. (I love that guy's name) And that’s really a self-centered act. You’ve basically declared that it’s all about you. Those people who are [acting] in this way may be the worst role models.” The real shocker of this story: 38% of babies born in this country are to unwed mothers. 38%. Again, we laud Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt for their unwed parenting and then can't figure out why our rates are so high. Jeez, people, get a clue.
7. Charlie Rangel Gets Perks. Again, color you surprised. Notorious race-baiting member of Congress Charlie Rangel (chairman of the Ways and Means Committee) apparently rents 4 apartments at a Harlem apartment building for less than half of the going rate. 3 of these apparently make up his penthouse while the 4th, against city ordinances, makes up his campaign office. Oh and the owner of the building donated thousands to his campaign. Rangel claims the deal does not affect how he represents his constituents. Dr. Evil says, "Riiiiiight."