Friday's What the Hamster.

Well it's finally Friday. This has to have been the longest week in recent memory. At any rate, here's the weekly dose of stories that made me say, "WTH?"

1. 22 Year Old to Auction Off Virginity to Pay School Loans. A 22 year old female is offering up her virginity to not only the highest bidder but to someone, "who is a genuine, overall nice person." Ebay turned her down so she took the next step: Nevada's infamous brothel, the Moonlight Bunny Ranch. Says "Natalia," "I don't think auctioning my virginity will solve all my problems, but it will create some financial stability," she said, according to the magazine.

First, as any guy knows, having a virgin in the sack isn't all that. Second, chances are she's going to end up with some nasty old pervert. Third, I guess getting a job wasn't in the cards?


2. Man Convicted of Lesser Charge in Murder of Wife's Teenage Lover. A Knoxville jury has convicted Eric McClean of reckless homicide rather than first degree murder in the shooting death of his wife's teenage boyfriend/former student. Instead of 51 years in the pen, he now faces 2-4.

McLean was charged in last year's shooting of his wife's 18-year-old lover Sean Powell, her former student, outside the McLeans' Knoxville home.

The 33-year-old McLean testified he only wanted to scare Powell away when he approached him with a high-powered rifle. He said the youth grabbed the barrel, and as McLean pulled back the gun went off.

Hmmm, that's what you get for diddling somebody else's wife. Former student? Is she still teaching?


3. Man Jumps to Death Fleeing Cops. Here's my candidate for the Darwin Award. Apparently, dipstick was breaking into cars when the cops saw him. Genius then runs and jumps over a retaining wall, not realizing there was a 200 foot drop on the other side. Moron.


4. Catholic Priest Accused of Selling Cocaine from Rectory. I guess being a Catholic priest at the University of Illinois doesn't pay well. A campus priest at the University has been charged with 2 counts of delivery and 1 count of intent to deliver cocaine within 1000 feet of a church. Well, beats molesting the altar boys I guess.


5. New Obama Ad Taunts McCain as Being "Computer Illiterate." Here's a description of the newest ad from the Obama camp:

The newest ad showcasing their hard line includes unflattering footage of McCain at a hearing in the early '80s, wearing giant glasses and an out-of-style suit, interspersed with shots of a disco ball, a clunky phone, an outdated computer and a Rubix Cube.

"1982, John McCain goes to Washington," an announcer says over chirpy elevator music. "Things have changed in the last 26 years, but McCain hasn't.

"He admits he still doesn't know how to use a computer, can't send an e-mail, still doesn't understand the economy, and favors two hundred billion in new tax cuts for corporations, but almost nothing for the middle class," it says.

Are you serious? THIS is what they think will win them the White House? What's next? An ad featuring McCain's 96 year old mom with a voice over saying, "John McCain's momma wears combat boots. Now go away before I taunt you a second time."

6. Saudi Cleric Issues Fatwa Against Owners of "Immoral" TV Networks. Saudi Arabia's top Islamic judiciary official has issued a religious decree saying it is permissible to kill the owners of satellite TV networks that broadcast what he called immoral content.

The 79-year-old hard-line Sheik Saleh al-Lihedan said satellite channels cause the "deviance of thousands of people."

Does this extend to the people responsible for reality tv shows? If so, I'm all for it.