The Year That Was: 2008

Am I the only one who's glad this suck-ass year is almost over? Here's a recap of how my 2008 went:

January: Went to Key West with the kids, Spud, my sister and her friend. Thought all was well. Spud starts to take more control of the pub.

February: Spud takes over all my roles at the pub. He then starts telling me how unhappy he is and how I'm a loser with no direction in my life. This was after I planned the Mardi Gras party for the pub which, as far as I know, is still the biggest money-maker that place has ever had. This would be the Mardi Gras party that he didn't want to do for fear it would be a bust.

March: Spud walks on the 24th. No goodbye, no "Go screw yourself," nada. Just a, "I can't do this anymore." This was a week after the sorriest trip to a theme park ever where he refused to ride any rides and just sat next to me on a bench for 5 hours while ogling everything with a bustline.

April: I gave the idiot until the first of April to get his head out of his ass and come home. He didn't so on the 2nd I filed for divorce. This led him to tell everyone that I was the one who ended the marriage. I'm thinking that leaving me for a 27 year old bimbo you met at the pub constitutes ending a marriage. I still have the fateful words of what he told one of his friends ringing in my ears, "You know who I'm fucking and it ain't your wife."

May: Spud discovers that I'm dissing him on Folly and decides to bitch to his lawyer like a 4 year old girl. I get chastised by my lawyer and Folly goes down in flames. Go visit my sister at her farm in Tennessee.

June: Still haggling with Spud over the decree. I want my share of the pub. He says over his dead body. I'm thinking that's a fair trade.

July: Discover Spud's profile on Match.com which he later denies ever having. Of course, I printed it out. What a load of crap that was. Meanwhile, I went out with one of the biggest losers I've ever met that I didn't marry. It took days of ignoring his crazy ass behavior ("Are you any happier today than you were yesterday?") for him to stop. Then I met my current beau who is a decent, upstanding individual. This makes me wonder what he sees in me.

August: On the 12th, Spud is officially my ex-husband. I gave him the house. He's supposed to give me $15k for my share of the pub. As of today, still haven't received a dime of that. First date with my current beau. Moved out of the marital home and into a rent house which I got screwed on.

September: Beau's birthday. Bought him an awesome Civil War print which is currently hanging in his living room. Decided to move from the rent house after I had to tell the process server on a Sunday morning that the landlord's wife moved with him to North Carolina. She is being sued. He proceeds to act like an ass and threatens to sue me over the lease. Dillweed.

October: Had to put in a $300 battery in the Jaguar. Moved to another rent house. Discovered the fine art of plumbing after having repaired the toilet in the master bathroom. Discovered I got screwed on this deal as well. Vowed to never live in another rent house. Marital home goes into foreclosure after Spud doesn't offer a deed in lieu as required by the decree. Broke ass broke.

November: Obama is elected and I am sad. Hoping I don't get laid off. Boss is muy unhappy with me over billing. Thanksgiving with Beau's parents is not the disaster I had feared. Still broke ass broke.

December: Christmas is muy expensive. Go to an hourly rate instead of salary thanks to my boss. Still broke ass broke. Decide to move after to IRS agents come to the door looking for my landlord. Landlord claims it had only to do with a missing form from a couple of years ago. I say bullshit. Found a house to purchase on the 4th hole of a golf course. Got my fingers crossed but mortgage guy says even with the foreclosure it shouldn't be a problem since Spud got the house.

Here's to a better year in 2009.