Monday, December 15, 2008

I'm Freezing My A** Off Without a Christmas Tree

It's 17 degrees right now. Yes, 17 degrees. That's up from the low of 16 on its way to a balmy 22 for the afternoon high. There's a 1/4 inch of ice covering everything which means I didn't go to work today. My little Jaguar wouldn't make it out of the driveway much less the neighborhood. Of course, everyone else is at work. Then again, everyone else has a Lexus/Lincoln SUV.

So what does not having a Christmas tree have to do with freezing my a** off? Well, yesterday it was 75 degrees. I went to Wal-Mart. I hate Wal-Mart. I went to Wal-Mart to buy, among other things, a Christmas tree. I found one that looked great on the box. 7.5 feet and only 3 sections. So I snagged it and some other stuff.

When I got home with my haul, I moved stuff out of the way in the designated Christmas tree spot and opened the box. I realized something was amiss when I got a whiff of stale cigarette smoke. Then I started taking the tree out. "3 Easy Sections," suddenly became a thousand individual branches with a center stand that you hook them to.

Oh, it only took me a second to figure out what happened. Some deadbeat loser bought the real tree then boxed up their old piece of crap tree, took it back to Wal-Mart and got money for their piece of crap tree. Kudos for their ingenuity and complete lack of moral character. Kudos also to the Wal-mart employees in the returns/exchanges section who didn't even bother to check the box.

While I was getting my return sticker from the mentally-handicapped employee at the front of the door, I was on the phone to my sister explaining this whole debacle. It took Scooter a couple of minutes to figure out how to get the sticker out. Meanwhile, the over-dressed old bitch behind me says, "Is something wrong?" Scooter, "No." Bitch, "Oh I thought you were waiting for her to get off the phone." WTF? I wasn't holding up the parade, it was the retard employee. Granted, at least HE has a job unlike the old bitch who I'm probably supporting via Social Security.

Again, I f*&king hate Wal-Mart.

1 comment:

KurtP said...

I learned a long time ago that you *never* buy something from Wallyworld (or the DIY stores) that look like they've been opened before.
You'll almost always find something missing.
If all the packaging looks the same way, it might be ok.