Map Quest

I got the wrong maps. Yes, it's true. My boss told me that this morning. "I thought we understood," he said. What WE understood was that he wanted coastline of the state of Louisiana and not the goddamn Gulf of Mexico. "I'll go by there myself," said he in a huff. Good. Maybe they are better at mind reading. You could see him twitching in that camel hair overcoat of his as he stalked out the door.

This happened about 11-ish which is roughly two hours after I arrived to discover my office was the temperature of Nome, Alaska. One of the male attorneys very kindly turned my little space heater on which was like using a space heater to warm a Sam's (or Costco). So I'm sitting at my desk, hunched over in my wool coat like Bob Cratchit when I'm summoned into the conference room and informed of my error.

About 4-ish, Bossman calls me to tell me he's at the map place and they are getting him what he wants and oh, can I get in the car and drive half way across town to bring back the shitty maps I bought? "Sure, thing, Boss," I said. So I hop in my little car (with no gas) and drive to the crap-ass side of town to bring the maps back.

While I'm there, Bossman calls the map place to talk to me.

"Ask her if they have a schematic of a blah, blah, blah, or a blah, blah, blah, or a blah, blah, blah or a blah blah blah then call me back and let me know."

So I ask the lady, "Do you have a schematic of a blah, blah, blah, or a blah, blah, blah, or a blah, or blah, blah."

"No," she said. "We just sell maps."

So I call the Bossman and tell him that. Then he says, "Ask her if we know where we can get one." By then, she's gone back up stairs to her office so I gotta call her from the waiting room phone.

"Boss wants to know if you know where to get one," I said.

"No," she said. "Try Google."

I then went back to my office, got my crap, and went home. Oh yes, I earn my keep. He just doesn't realize it.