The Fairness Doctrine

Okay, okay, I said no more politics and I meant it. At least the really depressing, "the world is going to end," stuff. However, I can still poke fun.

One of the things the Left is trying to push into law is, "The Fairness Doctrine." Tired of getting their butts kicked on talk radio, the Left has decided that the best way to beat Conservative radio is to kill it by forcing stations to air equal time to leftist propaganda...er...I mean, radio. So in my attempt to fit into the New Regime, I will now devote the rest of this post to Leftist...uh...Progressive ideas.

(ahem...)

Now that Obama has been elected (or selected as those Neo-Cons claim), we can now do our best to right social wrongs and protect Gaia from our selfish behavior. We intend to make sure that: all homes have free wireless Internet; same sex marriages are approved across the country; and the cult known as Christianity is eradicated.

Our primary mission is to help the poor. The poor are poor because they have had no one to help them their entire lives. Because of McChimpy Bush, Darth Cheney, and the Neo-cons, the poor have been repressed into lives of misery. Thanks to our election, they can now attend colleges and trade schools that were formerly closed to them without regard to SAT and ACT scores or high school diploma. What difference do test scores and grades make so long as they try?

Regarding our dear Mother Earth, it should be decreed that everyone must drive a hybrid car; such luxuries as daily showers and teeth brushing should be banned as wasting Gaia's most treasured resource, water. In addition, we propose a new cabinet level office, the Department of Gaia, headed by His Excellency, Al Gore. The Department of Gaia would be responsible for promoting such Earth-friendly policies as eco-homes that do not have running water, electricity, or natural gas; and the banning toilet paper, plastic bags, paper bags, rubber, coal, and anything else that makes nature icky. It's time for us to go way back when our forefathers lived in caves and were chased by flying dinosaurs. It was a more difficult time but at least everyone was chased equally without regard to race, gender, or sexual orientation.

Thank you,

Lis B.
Social Programs Consultant
Obama/Biden Campaign