So we arrived late last night and quite frankly, I have no freakin' idea where the hell I am. I know I passed Nashville, Murfreesboro, and Shelbyville to get here and somewhere around here is the Jack Daniels Distillery. I didn't get a lot of sleep last night due to a dog barking and the goats...well...baaaing or whatever it is that goats do. I can say that this place my sister and her husband own is really cool.
Anyway, today we wandered around the property and I discovered the joys of picking off ticks while my children discovered the fun of shooting cans with BB guns. Of course, no adventure would be complete without an injury. My oldest son ran into a ladder that spans the overhang of the steps and hit the steps with his head. He was out cold for a few minutes and now has lovely cuts all across his forehead. I'm happy to report that he appears to be fine.
Tonight, I discovered my new favorite show: My Big Redneck Wedding. While I laughed my butt off, I was also amazed that people could actually do this stuff with a straight face. My favorite episode is when the groom decided to write his vows. Here is, word for word, what he wrote:
I wish I could put your love in a locket,
you're hotter than a Hot Pocket.
We did it in the backseat,
We did it at the zoo,
I don't care where we do it,
as long as it's with you.
Romeo had a writer's block and couldn't come up with anything else because, "I was going to use fancy words but I don't have a clitoris." (Not making that up). And of course, like all weddings, the bride and groom exchanged gifts. He gave her a bear he won from the claw machine at the bowling alley while she gave him a pink bowling ball with these words inscribed on it, "Think of me when you touch your ball."
So now everyone knows what I've been doing for two days. Oh and beer. Lots of beer.
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