As everyone has heard, the Obamas are in Europe. While visiting Queen Elizabeth II, our prez gave her a pink Ipod with show tunes and a couple of his speeches. His wife then made the mistake of touching the Queen without her permission. Twice.
Who is advising these two on protocol? Borat? A freakin' Ipod for the Queen of England? Here's a letter I'd like to send to him:
Dear Mr. President:
I'm taking the time to advise you on a few protocol matters even though I didn't vote for you. I don't personally care for you but if you are going to represent Americans, I feel it's my duty to clue you in on what not to do.
1. We are Americans. We are unique. We like Ipods and movies. The rest of the world, not so much. If you chose to give a gift to a foreign head of state, make it something classy. As my friend Abaddon said, a lovely custom silver tea service with the House of Windsor crest and Presidential seal would have been a lovely and tasteful gift to the Queen. Think of decorative things like vases or historical items that represent America. By the way, handing back that bust of Churchill we were given was a slap in the face to the British. Just sayin'
2. Touching. Look, learn the customs of the people you are visiting. NO ONE touches the Queen or any other member of the Royal Family without their permission. You don't even speak to one of them until they address you first. Oh sure, our media tried to claim that Michelle "charmed the Queen out of protocol," but that's crap. The Queen just didn't want a scene. Anyway, I'm sure there is a book or something you can read about all this.
3. Learn how to speak. You may have legions of adoring fans in the US media who hang on to every stuttering word that comes out of your mouth. However, the same cannot be said outside the US so when someone from a foreign newspaper, say like the Guardian, asks you a question, don't stutter your way through it. It makes you look like an idiot and embarrasses the rest of us.
Look, we're stuck with you until 2012. All I'm saying is that you're embarrassing us more overseas than GWB ever did. You're not in Chicago anymore so learn how to act.
Folly
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9 comments:
Thanks for the kudos! Great post. I hope those Chi-town boors read it...
i really don't want to like you folly, but that was a damn fine letter. you should actually mail it just to see if there's a response...
Thank you, Anon. Pray tell, why don't you want to like me?
well, i would cite your use of "pray tell" as one reason... i don't know, you just bug me...
Awwww, does Boeing not allow you to have a sense of humor? Are you one of those guys who gets paid $25 to tighten a bolt?
And yet you come back.
boeing decided to pay a bit more than double the $25/hr to design where the bolt goes... i wouldn;t know if the bolt-tighteners have no sense of humor, i don't go out to the factory much.
yep, i come back. forgot to comment on that.
You design stuff. Cool. Come on, I'm not that bad.
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