Election Friday "What the Hamster?"

In honor of the upcoming crowning...er...I mean "election," I thought I would devote today's What the Hamster? to the 2008 Presidential Election/Anointing:

1. Hang Palin in Effigy, Get Attention. Hang Obama in Effigy, Get Arrested. Showing again how white guilt is playing into this election, some yahoo in LA (go figure) did a Halloween display featuring a Sarah Palin mannequin hanging from a noose. Said Delbert Dillweed, "It's a harmless work of art." However, Delbert was "convinced," by the Mayor of LA that his taste in art had a lot to be desired so he took it down. Meanwhile, at the University of Kentucky, two people were arrested for hanging an Obama effigy from a tree. Oh but THAT'S different say officials citing our past hobby of hanging black people. UK President Lee Todd said the effigy violates the university's code of ethics, and Fischer faces punishment that could include expulsion.
"As outrageous and offensive an act as the effigy was, I truly believe it has mobilized our campus, the community and the state in an effort to battle racism," Todd said Thursday.

Yes, because it was solely due to Obama's race that he was hanged in effigy. Jeez, people GET OVER IT ALREADY.

2. Cross Obama and Get Your Entire Life Scrutinized. Shades of the Clinton regime. Poor old Joe the Plumber (aka Sam Wurzelbacher) had his background checked by the Ohio Department of Jobs and Family Services. Why? Because according to Helen Jones-Kelly, director of this department, "The checks were run after the news media reported that Wurzelbacher was considering buying a plumbing business with more than $250,000 in annual income, Jones-Kelley wrote.

"Given our understanding that Mr. Wurzelbacher had publicly indicated that he had the means to purchase a substantial business enterprise, ODJFS, consistent with past departmental practice, checked confidential databases ," she wrote.

"Not surprisingly, when a person behind in child support payments or receiving public assistance is receiving significant media attention which suggests that the person appears to have available financial resources, the Department risks justifiable criticism if it fails to take note and respond," Jones-Kelley wrote.

Of course, the fact that she donated $2500 to the Obama campaign had absolutely nothing to do with it.

3. Iraqis and American Ex-Pats in Israel Want McCain. Go figure. Couldn't be 'cause both these groups know that Obama would sell them down the river, could it?

4. Obama's Aunt Lives in a Boston Slum. We'll if he treats his family this way, how will he treat the rest of us? Uh...here:

Zeituni Onyango, the aunt so affectionately described in Obama's best-selling memoir "Dreams From My Father," lives in a disabled-access flat on a rundown public housing estate in South Boston.

A second relative believed to be the long-lost "Uncle Omar" described in the book was beaten by armed robbers with a "sawed-off rifle" while working in a corner shop in the Dorchester area of the city. He was later evicted from his one-bedroom apartment for failing to pay $2,324.20 in bills, according to the Boston Housing Court.

The press has repeatedly rehearsed Obama's extraordinary odyssey, but the other side of the family's American experience has only been revealed in parts. Just across town from where Obama made history as the first black president of the Harvard Law Review, some of his closest blood relatives have confronted the harshness of immigrant life in America.

Speaking outside her home in Flaherty Way, South Boston, on Tuesday, Onyango, 56, confirmed she was the "Auntie Zeituni" in Obama's memoir. She declined to answer most other questions about her relationship with the presidential contender until after the November 4 election.

"I can't talk about it, I just pray for him, that's all," she said, adding: "After the 4th, I can talk to anyone."

Nothing like putting a gag order on your poor family member. Hey Obama, is she getting a tax cut or will you let her stay in the slums of Boston?

5. Betrayed By an Ally. Not technically election related but it still made me say what the #$@. Apparently, our "good" friends, the Italians, tipped off the Libyans the day before Ronald Reagan ordered airstrikes against that country for suicide attacks it launched against Americans in German and Italian discos in 1986. Apparently, the Italians didn't approve so they betrayed us. I'm thinking if we get word of an impending attack on Italy, we don't tell them. The bastards.

I'm Alive

Yeah, it's been a week. I moved. Again. I hate moving. You'd think I'd be good at it given the bazillion times my parents dragged us all over hell's half acre when I was a kid. The difference being is that, like refugees, we usually left with whatever we could fit in the car. This whole, "Pack all my stuff AND move it," is a tad bit different. Then it took Cox 5 days to hook up the cable and Internet. Still not sure if the phone works.

Anyway, I see Obama paid for a 30 minute indoctrination infomercial. No, I didn't watch it. I generally think that he and his legions of drooling sycophants are nauseating. I truly hope McCain wins because the thought of this Americanized Robert Mugabe running things has me a tad bit scared. I'm not a McCain fan but I respect his service to the nation which is more than his opponent's brief stint as a Senator and community rabble rouser. And what's with the LA Times hiding the Obama tape? Nothing like openly proclaiming your bias.

The Rays lost the World Series thus precluding the coming Apocalypse which would have occurred had yet another team from Tampa won a national title. However, they had a great run and I'm still waiting for the playoff shirt my sister snagged for me when she went to ALCS.

Tomorrow: A Special Election edition of, "What the Hamster?"

My Own Presidential Poll

Since the "official" polls show everything from Obama being ahead by 9 points (yeah, right) to a dead heat, I thought I'd conduct my own poll. It's probably just as scientific as all the other ones and I don't have a margin of error.

Why State Workers Suck

Actual email I received from our state Child Support Collection agency regarding my deadbeat ex-husband's refusal to pay child support:

The worker has checked with the employer and he terminated employment on 7/31/08. We do not show any new employment on our system at this time. We have reset all of our locate data bases. If you should find out where he is employed, please let us know so we can generate a new Income assignment.

So, I'm supposed to find Skippy and tell them. Excuse me, but I have a job and it's not working for the State. Jeez.

I Am Joe

Iowahawk has a great piece about the Joe the Plumber's assault by the media and how we're all Joe. If you want everyone to know you are Joe, download the above graphic here.

Obama Addresses His Supporters

Photo of the Day

This is what stupid looks like.

Friday's What the Hamster?

Back by popular demand....it's FRIDAY'S WHAT THE HAMSTER??????

1. Mom Gets 10 Years for Allowing Boyfriend to Impregnate 9 Year Old Daughter. My candidate for mother of the year. This bimbo allowed her 38 year old boyfriend to get her 9 year old daughter pregnant. 10 years? That's it?? What the hamster????? Of course, all she was charged with was failing to provide prenatal care. Jeez.

2. 12 Year Old Arrested for Assaulting Pregnant Teacher. Another kid gone wild in Florida. What the hell is wrong with juveniles down there? Anyway, this future parolee threw sticks at the pregnant teacher and kicked another one. This was after he punched the same pregnant teacher last week. Yet another example of bad parenting.

3. ACORN Registers Mickey Mouse. Gee, Democrats involved in voter fraud. Go figure. They are bound and determined to turn this into a banana republic. Why do they feel the need to do this if they are so right about everything? Couldn't be fear could it? Oh and Obama gave this group $300k but I noticed the media hasn't really hit home that point. Maybe we need the UN to come in and monitor our elections.

4. Out of the Mouths of Babes....A 12 year old girl was called a racist by her classmates in a Florida (go figure) school after she wore a McCain-Palin t-shirt to school. The girl volunteers at the Republican headquarters and was given the shirt as a gift for her efforts. Her tolerant classmates said that she was white and that's why she was voting for whitey. Or something like that. Gee, I guess kids ARE listening to their parents. At least when it comes to political propaganda.

5. Mentally Disabled Man's Vote Stolen....A mentally disabled Georgia man was driven from his care facility, without his family's permission, to a voting center and was told he couldn't vote for McCain (his choice). Instead, the "helpful" assistant checked Obama's name on the ballot and cast it. Just a question: ARE WE REALLY GOING TO ALLOW OBAMA TO STEAL THIS ELECTION!!!!!

6. Convicted Felons Allowed to Vote in Washington. Desperate to anoint "The Chosen One," the Secretary of State in Washington will allow some 24,000 convicted felons to cast votes. due to new computer system that didn't catch the convicts in the registry. Because of those discrepancies, elections officials don't think it's "practical" to eliminate any of the 24,000 or so felons in question. Instead, all will be handed ballots for the upcoming primary election.

7. Madonna and Guy Richie Divorcing. Anyone surprised? I'm just surprised it took this long. He seems way to refined to be married to that skank.

8. Another Congressman, Another Sex Scandal. The guy who won disgraced GOP Congressman Tom Foley's seat is in a spot of trouble himself. You see, Tim Mahoney ran on the morality platform while he was engaged in an extra-marital affair with a campaign worker. Oh and apparently he was cheating on the girlfriend as well. Now the FBI is investigating to see if he used campaign funds as hush money. Pot meet Kettle.

9. Joe Biden Can't Count. Listen, Skippy, "jobs" is a four-letter word. Not a three-letter word. I can't believe these people are ahead in the polls.

November 5, 2008

I fear this will be the result of the upcoming election:

The Thrill is Gone

I just don't feel like blogging anymore. I don't know what it is. Maybe I have too much crap going on and I'm worn out from all the crap that has gone on. Maybe I'll return. Who knows? At any rate, enjoy a little B.B. King:

Obama's New Campaign Song

Or what it should be. Although, maybe I shouldn't post this. I wouldn't want the Thought Police to knock on my door....

Why Today Sucked

1. The car broke down; and
2. I was served with a Foreclosure Petition whilst I was in the bathtub. (Yes, I used "whilst" in a sentence.)

THE CAR

As many of you know, I own a Jaguar. Like most expensive, pretty things, it doesn't have much more going for it other than looks. Like a supermodel. This thing has been in the shop more than it's been on the road. Today, it wouldn't start as I was taking Junior off to school. I had to have it towed to the dealership. Cost = $92. Turns out the battery was cracked and corroded. Oh but this isn't the battery you buy at Wal-Mart. This is a special, heat-resistant battery (If it's heat-resistant then how did it crack?). Cost = $151 for the battery plus another $120 for labor. That's right, I spent $271 FREAKIN' DOLLARS ON A BATTERY. Argh. However, kudos to my boyfriend who was more than happy to shuttle me around.

SERVICE WITH A SMILE

I decided to take a bath and yes, I am redneck enough to drink beer whilst (ooooooh, TWICE) bathing. Then, as I'm reading smut and drinking Shiner, my son knocks on the door. Of course, I can't understand a word he's saying 'cause I got the heater going. (There's an image.) I get out of the tub and turn off the heater to here him say there's some guy at the door and he knows my name. Well, of course, I know what that means. That means Mr. Process Server. So I throw a robe on and go to the door. He ask my name and I say yes and he says, "I have some legal papers for you." Gee, thanks.

Then I take said papers back into the tub with me so I can read them whilst ( 3 TIMES!!!) drinking my beer. I, of course, have 20 days to file a response and a response I will file. Oh yes.

Still Broke

Jeez, I hate being broke on the weekend. I know, whine....whine...whine. Seriously, I'm in danger of losing my job which is fine. I hate it anyway. I guess we'll have to learn to live on less income. To quote my dad, "I've been poor....and I've been rich...." Obviously, rich is better but there's a lot of crap that has to go with it. Crap like...."billable hours." God, I hate the legal profession just for that. Imagine, in your job, that you had to account for everything you do. EVERY...SINGLE...MINUTE...OF...THE...DAY...HAS...TO...BE...ACCOUNTED...FOR.

In other news, the Feds passed the Welfare for Wall Street bill which gives ME NO MONEY IN MY POCKET. No, I'm not bitter but I'm tired of being taxed to death to pay for other people's screw ups. So I feel no pity for banks who decided to lend to people who couldn't afford a mortgage. No one (except my sis) is helping me out so why should First National Bank of Whatever get money?

On the plus side, the new man in my life and I are madly in love. That's pretty much the only high point. Oh sure, we fuss at each other but hell, in his terms, he never promised me a rose garden. He's still the bestest man I've ever been involved with. Yes, you may puke now.

Anyway, I'm moving again in a few weeks to a one-story house since the stairs are killing my knees. Eventually, I'll get my shit together. However, I haven't tried to off myself or been committed so I think I'm doing pretty well, all things considered.

Broke Again...Naturally

13 days to payday and I'm broke. No, I didn't piss it away. It's called bills which I'm heartily sick of paying. So Mr./Ms. Congressperson, where's my handout? I cannot contribute to the economy 'cause I ain't got no cash.

Seriously, how do people make it on less? I thought about becoming a teacher yesterday ('cause I HATE my job) and I'd have to take a 75% PAY CUT to be one. SEVENTY-FIVE PERCENT!!!!! HOLY CRAP. I might as well work at the mall for that. Generally, I don't like unions. I mean, if the teachers' unions actually cared, their people wouldn't be making $34k a year. Teachers should make like $50k/year. Hell, the garbage man makes more than a teacher.

Yes, I need to cut spending. However, the government operates in the red which really doesn't give us much incentive to do otherwise. I'd actually like to SAVE money. Of course, it would really help if my two deadbeat ex-husbands would pay what they owe. Losers.

It's going to be a long two weeks.

Are You Smart Enough to be a Citizen?

Fox News has this story on the revised citizenship test that people who want to become citizens have to take. Not surprisingly, none of the people they polled got them all right. So here's your chance to take a crack at it. Here are ten actual questions from the test. Post your answers in the comments and I'll post the real answers later.

1. What does the Constitution do?
2. What do we call the first 10 amendments to the Constitution?
3. Name one branch or part of the government.
4. We elect a U.S. representative for how many years?
5. How many justices are on the Supreme Court?
6. How old do citizens have to be to vote for President?
7. When is the last day you can send in federal income tax forms?
8. There were 13 original states. Name three.
9. Who was president during World War I?
10. Name one U.S. territory.

Time to Take Our Country Back

I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm tired of the way things are going in this country. We have a government that doesn't listen to us as evidenced by the fact that the Senate is now taking up the Welfare for Wall Street bill. I guess they think they have a better shot at passing it. Do not allow the fact that the Dow dropped 700 points on Monday to scare you into submission. The government does not need to buy up bad debts from mortgage companies. They made the decision to lend to people who could not afford it and now they have to deal with it.

I am also tired of the Dems blatant attempt to steal this election. They firmly believe that Obama is the Messiah and they are "entitled" to be in power. This should scare anyone with an ounce of common sense.

I'm tired of the "me" society we live in that has caused this mess. No, we aren't "entitled" to have houses we can't afford. We earn them. We aren't "entitled" to earn a high income. We put ourselves through school and bust our asses to earn it. We aren't "entitled" to respect. We earn that too. I see this mentality a lot with other parents and my own children. Society is so "me"-based that immediate gratification takes precedence over everything else. So it's time to put our country back the way we found it. We need to make sacrifices for the common good and not worry so much about what's in it for us.