I went looking at cars over the weekend. I went to one of the big Chevy dealers in town, whose owner has pimped out his daughter to do the ads for him. Her moniker is, "Dad'll Do It!" Anyway, after 2.5 excruciating hours at the dealer, I.M. Scrotum, the car salesman, tells me my Jag is only worth like $4k and that I needed to come up with $2700 to close the negative equity. He then tells me he'll call me Monday with the final numbers.
Monday, I'm sick so I don't answer the phone. I.M. Scrotum calls and tells me he needs $3k then sends me a follow up email saying the same thing. I responded by telling him that for another $500 I could buy a $350k house on a golf course. Here is his actual response:
u gonna park a beat up Jag in front of a $350k home? (probably not.....I`m sure it has a 3 car garage!) WHO, even needs a home like that! How does a one time $500 cost, buy a home like that? Well may be you can save $1500 this week and come back a few days before the next check and have the total amount? I just cannot hold a check for more than a week.
I was so pissed I damn near went down there and grabbed I.M. Scrotum by his namesake. Obviously, if this is how GM dealers treat potential clients, it's no wonder why they can't sell cars. Asshole. I'll keep my crappy Jag, thank you very much.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Monday, January 12, 2009
The Bush Years: A Reflection
Well it's a little over a week until Scooter takes office. I thought I'd give my opinion of most maligned president in the last 150 years.
PROS
Decided to kick the Taliban's ass after 9/11 without engaging in "dialogue," or "negotiations" or trying to understanding their feelings.
Gave Will Ferrell his best character to date.
Kept the Estados Unidos safe from terrorist attacks by making entry into the country so damn difficult that only illegal migrant workers sneaking across the Arizona border can get in. The terrorists just gave up due to the paperwork.
Told the UN and the rest of the world to kiss his Texas-sized ass.
Prevented us from having an Al Gore and/or John Kerry administration.
CONS
Iraq. Not technically his fault it went to shit but he'll get the blame anyway. Who knew Saddam was a liar and our intel sucks.
Katrina. Again, not Bush's fault. Mayor McCheese and Governor Sniffles were to blame for this debacle as well as the citizens of New Orleans who expected to be taken out of a hurricane zone in stretch limos provided by the government. It's called personal responsibility which a vast majority of this country doesn't have.
Bailout for Bankers. We now have every asshole with a negative bank balance demanding to be saved from their own bad business decisions while the rest of us have to live with our mistakes. Where the hell is my bailout?
The Economy. Not Bush's fault but he'll get the blame. Blame Congress. Congress decided to put pressure on Fannie Mae and Freddy Mac to ease lending standards so that people who have to decide between buying baby formula and a carton of smokes every payday can buy a house (in that Socialist-like "everyone is entitled to own a home" program). That lead to the collapse of the housing market which led to the recession.
So, all in all, Bush wasn't a bad president. He was just a victim of a vindictive press who swore to get him after Al Bore didn't get anointed president. I feel sorry for him as I'm sure he's not a bad guy. If I were him, I'd moon the entire press corps on my way out of town.
PROS
Decided to kick the Taliban's ass after 9/11 without engaging in "dialogue," or "negotiations" or trying to understanding their feelings.
Gave Will Ferrell his best character to date.
Kept the Estados Unidos safe from terrorist attacks by making entry into the country so damn difficult that only illegal migrant workers sneaking across the Arizona border can get in. The terrorists just gave up due to the paperwork.
Told the UN and the rest of the world to kiss his Texas-sized ass.
Prevented us from having an Al Gore and/or John Kerry administration.
CONS
Iraq. Not technically his fault it went to shit but he'll get the blame anyway. Who knew Saddam was a liar and our intel sucks.
Katrina. Again, not Bush's fault. Mayor McCheese and Governor Sniffles were to blame for this debacle as well as the citizens of New Orleans who expected to be taken out of a hurricane zone in stretch limos provided by the government. It's called personal responsibility which a vast majority of this country doesn't have.
Bailout for Bankers. We now have every asshole with a negative bank balance demanding to be saved from their own bad business decisions while the rest of us have to live with our mistakes. Where the hell is my bailout?
The Economy. Not Bush's fault but he'll get the blame. Blame Congress. Congress decided to put pressure on Fannie Mae and Freddy Mac to ease lending standards so that people who have to decide between buying baby formula and a carton of smokes every payday can buy a house (in that Socialist-like "everyone is entitled to own a home" program). That lead to the collapse of the housing market which led to the recession.
So, all in all, Bush wasn't a bad president. He was just a victim of a vindictive press who swore to get him after Al Bore didn't get anointed president. I feel sorry for him as I'm sure he's not a bad guy. If I were him, I'd moon the entire press corps on my way out of town.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Yeah, Yeah
I've gotten some complaints that I haven't been blogging. Hell it's touch with the job, kids, school, and poverty. I know it's a day late but here's my Friday Saturday What the Hamster?
1. 5 Pirates Drown With Their Loot. Here are my candidates for the Darwin Awards. Some of those Somali pirates we've all been hearing about apparently drowned after retrieving some 3 million dollars in ransom. Their boat overturned. Yes, but why is the rum always gone?
2. Death Row Inmate Pops Out His Eye and Eats It. Okay, I understand doing crazy shit to keep out the death chamber, but I'm thinking this dude really is looney. He was on death row after he killed his wife, their infant, and her kid and putting their hearts in his pocket. He gouged out his other eye previously. So does it now constitute cruel and unusual punishment to execute a blind man if he caused his own blindness?
3. OU Loses...Again. What the hell? How can we lose 5 straight BCS bowl games? Do we not watch films of the opponent? Are they out partying the night before? I guess Bob Stoops' nickname should be changed from "Big Game Bob," to "Blow It Big," Bob.
4. Anti-Israeli Protestors. Last week, not far from my house, a group of Palestinians were protesting Israel with all sorts of lovely signs including one that said, "Not another Holocaust in Gaza." I promptly gave them the finger. If Hamas, you know that terrorist group running the place, wouldn't launch rockets in to Israel, the Israelis wouldn't get pissed off to the point of annihilating Gaza. Speaking of Jewish people...
5. Amy Winehouse Targeted by Islamic Terrorists. At first I thought it was because of her crappy music and sense of fashion. However, it turns out she's Jewish and that's why the a Muslim website in the UK listed her and her Jewish manager's name as potential targets. "The Muslims want to cut my head off and I say, no, no, no." Sorry, I had to go there.
6. Tulsa Has Gone to Crap. Showing how out of control our gang bangers are and how our government is completely in denial, a guy in a wheelchair was shot and killed the other day because a couple of gangstas couldn't shoot straight. They were aiming for two other guys and missed.
7. Obama to Create 4.1 million jobs...Maybe. Um, some how the guy who will be sworn in as president in 10 days plans on creating 4.1 million jobs or something like that. But he's not telling anyone how or what or where. Here's the excerpt from the story:
Even the president-elect's own economists acknowledged their two-year estimates could be wrong.
The 14-page analysis, which was posted online, says estimates are "subject to significant margins of error" — because of the assumptions that went into the economic models and because it is not known what might pass Congress.
Obama has provided few details of his $775 billion plan so far. This fresh report does not include the specific construction of his tax cuts, the amounts dedicated to state aid or public works — key questions that Obama aides have closely held.
On Saturday, economic aides and advisers declined to lay out even rough estimates for the plan's components. They said they worked with broad instructions from Obama but didn't want to limit negotiations with congressional leaders by outlining their limits in public.
For a second time since his election, Obama increased the number of jobs his jobs program would create, taking the number to as many as 4.1 million jobs saved or created — a benchmark his critics charge cannot be measured. During the campaign, he promised only 1 million new jobs.
1. 5 Pirates Drown With Their Loot. Here are my candidates for the Darwin Awards. Some of those Somali pirates we've all been hearing about apparently drowned after retrieving some 3 million dollars in ransom. Their boat overturned. Yes, but why is the rum always gone?
2. Death Row Inmate Pops Out His Eye and Eats It. Okay, I understand doing crazy shit to keep out the death chamber, but I'm thinking this dude really is looney. He was on death row after he killed his wife, their infant, and her kid and putting their hearts in his pocket. He gouged out his other eye previously. So does it now constitute cruel and unusual punishment to execute a blind man if he caused his own blindness?
3. OU Loses...Again. What the hell? How can we lose 5 straight BCS bowl games? Do we not watch films of the opponent? Are they out partying the night before? I guess Bob Stoops' nickname should be changed from "Big Game Bob," to "Blow It Big," Bob.
4. Anti-Israeli Protestors. Last week, not far from my house, a group of Palestinians were protesting Israel with all sorts of lovely signs including one that said, "Not another Holocaust in Gaza." I promptly gave them the finger. If Hamas, you know that terrorist group running the place, wouldn't launch rockets in to Israel, the Israelis wouldn't get pissed off to the point of annihilating Gaza. Speaking of Jewish people...
5. Amy Winehouse Targeted by Islamic Terrorists. At first I thought it was because of her crappy music and sense of fashion. However, it turns out she's Jewish and that's why the a Muslim website in the UK listed her and her Jewish manager's name as potential targets. "The Muslims want to cut my head off and I say, no, no, no." Sorry, I had to go there.
6. Tulsa Has Gone to Crap. Showing how out of control our gang bangers are and how our government is completely in denial, a guy in a wheelchair was shot and killed the other day because a couple of gangstas couldn't shoot straight. They were aiming for two other guys and missed.
7. Obama to Create 4.1 million jobs...Maybe. Um, some how the guy who will be sworn in as president in 10 days plans on creating 4.1 million jobs or something like that. But he's not telling anyone how or what or where. Here's the excerpt from the story:
Even the president-elect's own economists acknowledged their two-year estimates could be wrong.
The 14-page analysis, which was posted online, says estimates are "subject to significant margins of error" — because of the assumptions that went into the economic models and because it is not known what might pass Congress.
Obama has provided few details of his $775 billion plan so far. This fresh report does not include the specific construction of his tax cuts, the amounts dedicated to state aid or public works — key questions that Obama aides have closely held.
On Saturday, economic aides and advisers declined to lay out even rough estimates for the plan's components. They said they worked with broad instructions from Obama but didn't want to limit negotiations with congressional leaders by outlining their limits in public.
For a second time since his election, Obama increased the number of jobs his jobs program would create, taking the number to as many as 4.1 million jobs saved or created — a benchmark his critics charge cannot be measured. During the campaign, he promised only 1 million new jobs.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
It's Back
Folly, that is. I think I liked Folly better than the Wench. Folly pretty much sums up my entire life so really the name does fit.
Here's the link: http://praiseoffolly.blogspot.com/
Here's the link: http://praiseoffolly.blogspot.com/
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Happy New Year
Yeah, it was a couple of days ago. I've been a little busy. I got this urge yesterday to actually set the house up I've been living in for two months. It's actually starting to look like home. That was after I decided I didn't want to move again even though the landlord is about as trustworthy as OJ Simpson. Oh not that he's killed anyone. At least not that I know of.
Anyway, BiW is now an official member of The Hostages which near as I can tell is the code name for the Arkham Asylum. He invited me on over to check it out. So I've been having fun over there.
What's new? Oh hell, it's another Saturday night and I ain't got nobody. So I present to you...the Bay City Rollers:
And if you were a girl in the '70s and you didn't think they were HOT, there was something wrong with you. Even with the knickers. Wonder what they're doing now...
Anyway, BiW is now an official member of The Hostages which near as I can tell is the code name for the Arkham Asylum. He invited me on over to check it out. So I've been having fun over there.
What's new? Oh hell, it's another Saturday night and I ain't got nobody. So I present to you...the Bay City Rollers:
And if you were a girl in the '70s and you didn't think they were HOT, there was something wrong with you. Even with the knickers. Wonder what they're doing now...
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
My New Year's Resolutions
Here's a list of crap I hope to accomplish when this suck ass year ends. I'll even actually attempt to accomplish most, if not, all of them.
- Stop Being a Doormat. Yes, I'm too nice to people which explains the deadbeat ex-husbands and lying-ass landlords. Starting tomorrow, unless you are friends, a significant other, and/or family, you can kiss my ass. I'll just assume you're lying to me so that if you aren't, I'll be pleasantly surprised.
- Lose Some of My Fat Self. I'm topping the scales out at 143 pounds now, up from a svelte 125 from Spring. I'm not even digging the big hooties any more 'cause they just make my back hurt. Goal is to get down to say, 130 or so.
- Get Into My Job. Sure, it can be downright boring but I do get paid well.
- Start my MPH program. That would be a Master's in Public Health which I start on Monday. This is so I can parlay what I now do into a job in the health law arena.
- Find New Hobbies. Time for me to start doing stuff I've always wanted to do. Like travel and maybe a cooking class or wine tasting.
- Start a budget. Don't laugh. I mean it.
- Be a better parent. This includes homeschooling both of my offspring.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
So Long To A Screwed Up Year
I wish I could say that the close of 2008 would bring an end to the craziness, stupidity, and general wrongness of the year, but I'm afraid that it won't. How wonderful is that? What am I talking about?
1. Iran nears completion of its nuclear program. Seriously, is the world going just sit around and talk while chimpanzees figure out how to operate a flamethrower?
2. Michigan Football has its worst season in my living memory. Ok, I joke with my Buckeye boss about us being allowed a rebuilding year once every ten or fifteen years, but we didn't even make it to a consolation bowl game, and Michigan State did. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?
3. The Democrats wreck the economy... by demanding banks give mortgages to people who can possibly pay them back, refuse to let us exploit our own oil resources as gas nears $5.00 a gallon, their candidate for President is remains a cypher even after his nomination, and they win the White House, The House, and The Senate? It's true. We have become an Idiocracy, and we have the government we deserve.
4. Hollyweird Continues to Crank Out Hate America First Movies...like 'Stop Loss', 'War Inc.', and other stinkers that insinuate or outright claim that WE are the bad guys and savages in the world, and then is surprised when they tank at the box office. Memo to the studio heads: We want to be entertained, not preached at by a bunch of clueless over sized egos who are insulated from the real world by their exorbitant salaries. You don't know dick about politics, the economy or reality. You are actors. If you were capable of understanding such things, you'd have real jobs. Now go make a good movie.
5. The GOP Ran A Woman For VP...and the party of inclusion, equal rights, and "making America live up to its promises" immediately savaged her with unfounded attacks on her character and belittled her executive experience, despite the fact that it exceeded that of the Dem's entire ticket.
6. A Republican President Declared It Necessary To Give Away Billions In Taxpayer Dollars...to some banks to restart credit markets stalled in the housing freefall prompted by years of Democratic thwarting of oversight over Fannie and Freddie, and as soon as the Secretary of the Treasury got the money, he didn't spend it as he said he would when he begged Congress for it in the first place. Yes, I know any one of us here in the real world outside of Washington D.C., the same world where bills have to eventually get paid, and bad behavior and crappy decisions actually have consequences could have told Congress that it would happen, but instead of taking appropriate action, Congress had hearings on even more bailouts...for the auto industry no less. And America just sat on the sidelines and watched. Where are the torches and pitchforks? Where is the tar and the feathers? Where are the politicians, quaking in their shoes and wetting their pants in fear of the populace that they continue to screw?
There is more. There is always more, but really, I can't stomach more right now. I'm gonna go hurl now.
1. Iran nears completion of its nuclear program. Seriously, is the world going just sit around and talk while chimpanzees figure out how to operate a flamethrower?
2. Michigan Football has its worst season in my living memory. Ok, I joke with my Buckeye boss about us being allowed a rebuilding year once every ten or fifteen years, but we didn't even make it to a consolation bowl game, and Michigan State did. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?
3. The Democrats wreck the economy... by demanding banks give mortgages to people who can possibly pay them back, refuse to let us exploit our own oil resources as gas nears $5.00 a gallon, their candidate for President is remains a cypher even after his nomination, and they win the White House, The House, and The Senate? It's true. We have become an Idiocracy, and we have the government we deserve.
4. Hollyweird Continues to Crank Out Hate America First Movies...like 'Stop Loss', 'War Inc.', and other stinkers that insinuate or outright claim that WE are the bad guys and savages in the world, and then is surprised when they tank at the box office. Memo to the studio heads: We want to be entertained, not preached at by a bunch of clueless over sized egos who are insulated from the real world by their exorbitant salaries. You don't know dick about politics, the economy or reality. You are actors. If you were capable of understanding such things, you'd have real jobs. Now go make a good movie.
5. The GOP Ran A Woman For VP...and the party of inclusion, equal rights, and "making America live up to its promises" immediately savaged her with unfounded attacks on her character and belittled her executive experience, despite the fact that it exceeded that of the Dem's entire ticket.
6. A Republican President Declared It Necessary To Give Away Billions In Taxpayer Dollars...to some banks to restart credit markets stalled in the housing freefall prompted by years of Democratic thwarting of oversight over Fannie and Freddie, and as soon as the Secretary of the Treasury got the money, he didn't spend it as he said he would when he begged Congress for it in the first place. Yes, I know any one of us here in the real world outside of Washington D.C., the same world where bills have to eventually get paid, and bad behavior and crappy decisions actually have consequences could have told Congress that it would happen, but instead of taking appropriate action, Congress had hearings on even more bailouts...for the auto industry no less. And America just sat on the sidelines and watched. Where are the torches and pitchforks? Where is the tar and the feathers? Where are the politicians, quaking in their shoes and wetting their pants in fear of the populace that they continue to screw?
There is more. There is always more, but really, I can't stomach more right now. I'm gonna go hurl now.
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